Spank Rock - Cool S#@!
Let's crank this motherfucker up!
Spank Rock is one of my top five rappers. He spits uninhibited obscenity with unapologetic vulgarity, from coked out party nights to girls getting wet on the dance floor. Naeem Juwan is profound through the profane, and his lyrics push raunch to the degree of when I play him out, I get asked to turn the misogyny down.
It's creative vulgarity though. There's the beautiful concept EP collabo with Benny Blanco, Bangers & Cash. The EP centres around Miami Booty Bass sampling the likes of Uncle Luke and the 2 Live Crew. All five tracks were released as singles and I copped all but one that I for some reason slept on and now pine for.
There are no other artists that I know of that create a character solely for the purpose of a mix. Spank Rock took on this feat in the collab with DJ Hoff and created the fictional Italo-House superstar Mobroder. Fully conceptualized through music, sure, but the character is hilarious too.
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Spank Rock was one artist prevalent in the days when grimy basement clubs coexisted with the ultra-lounges, before the mediocrity of the everyone-is-welcome-to-this-establishment mentality started in this city. I almost miss those days. I feel far more comfortable in a situation of well dressed kids with judgmental glances and whispers of "who the fuck does this guy think he is?" than some who-the-fuck-let-you-into-a-public-space motherfucker with flip flops in the winter yelling, "LOOK AN ASIAN!". The former I can say, "Fuck all y'all," to or maybe even become friends with. The latter I'd get hate-crimed on.
Oh right...Sorry...music.
Oh right...Sorry...music.
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It was the time of destroying your eyes with neon walls and pressed pills. It was the burgeoning of a new era; retraining your ear to hear post-80s revival, pre-dubstep club music. At that time, Baltimore club music was my shit.
The first song I heard labelled as B-more was DJ Rockaton's Your Bmore. I legit didn't know what The Outfield's Your Love was and thought Your Bmore was a completely original song. Whatever it was, I was on board. I picked up every old pop song B-more remix and played them in my I-still-don't-know-what-a-bpm-is sets (hey, I was only playing for drinks and didn't listen to Justin at all when he was trying to teach me!).
Spank Rock was technically B-more. He's a rapper from Baltimore rapping songs for the clubs and his album Yoyoyoyoyo was fire at this point. There was one night outside of the now closed Fluid Lounge when I was talking to this girl who was tentative about coming in. "What's going on tonight?""You should come check it. I'm playing with AllOut DJs."
"AllOut? So, I'm just going to hear Spank Rock song after Spank Rock song?"
I laughed and told her that that was an astute description, but it would be a good time. I walked back inside thinking, that bitch dumb.
The time came that I finally got to catch Spank Rock perform live. I'm sure I've told you this story before. If not it goes like this: he was touring for his album everything is boring and Everyone is a Fucking Liar. He was the opening act for Ke$ha, which made me respect her more for her choice of opening act. I guess the way that night worked was he ended up getting booked for three appearances. He played the concert; made a pit stop at Brixx; then was off to Union Hall. I caught him in the middle at Brixx, where he didn't even know he was supposed to be performing. I was already drunk going into the jam and so stoked to meet the dude—wait. I showed up by myself. How was I drunk already? hmmm...intriguing. Anyway—, I ran into Nick who was putting on the show and I drunkenly and excitedly said, "Man, when I meet him I'm gonna be like, 'yoyoyoyo'." There was no more to that sentence because I figured the joke had gotten across. I think Nick didn't get it and looked at me like this drunk motherfucker can't even finish his sentence.
I got to meet Naeem before the show. He was super nice. I snapped a pic with him.
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| Fucking Fanboy |
This performance is legendarily infamous to me. He had no idea he was actually supposed to perform. He played like ten songs tops all from behind a pillar off to the side of the stage as opposed to actually on the stage. He requested a certain request to the audience with the promise of playing a song request. A girl brought him a drink to which he replied, "Bitch, I said a line of coke not a rum & coke!" Best.
I approached him after his set even further turnt than I was at the beginning of it. Bits of conversation here and there. He got caught up in a conversation, a moment when I took to jump into what I thought was an enclosed entryway and puke. Unfortunately, it was enclosed with glass walls where everyone could see and Spank yelled out, "I SAW THAT!" as he walked into the night laughing at me.
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Everything is Boring and Everyone is a Fucking Liar was so hard to find a physical copy of. There was no North American distribution for some reason when it first dropped, so I had to find it overseas and pay three times as much for a vinyl copy. I hate that shit.
The major difference between Everything is Boring... and Yoyoyoyoyo is the less prevalent production from Triple XXXchange. Their brief parting of ways, however, seems to have allowed Spank to get more explorative in his sound. The likes of heavyweights Boyz Noize and Mark Ronson allowed ...Everyone is a Fucking Liar to be more diverse in its range musically.
Cool S#@! was a standout on Disco 88's second album for me. It's a throwback to those days of exclusivity, yet a transition and natural evolution from those days as well. Over a minimal beat produced by Triple XXXchange and Tyler Pope of !!!, the song opens with the debate of whether what you're doing is the best choice. Spank starts with the lyrics: Heard she had a little get together. Didn't wanna come like, whatever. I was at the cool shit doing cool shit. And you know I do it better. Was it fun? Was it clever? I was at the cool shit doing cool shit. What brought the song to my attention, mostly, was the best coke line ever written: My door has a lock. My lock has a key. My key's been gettin' down with my nose. My nose been gettin' down with my key.
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